Ah, “The Notebook.” (Sigh.) Watched it last night. I don’t watch movies more than once, with very few exceptions. This is one of those exceptions; I’ve watched this movie 3 or 4 times now.
Many would argue that this movie is by far the best love story captured on film. What sets this movie apart from other love stories on film?
Noah and Allie’s love passes the test of endurance.
Unlike a typical romantic comedy or love story, we see beyond the “kiss”; we see what happens after happily ever after. As women, we want to believe that a man will find himself at home in our presence, that he truly means ’till death do us part.’ Even as Noah progressively loses Allie through Alzheimer’s, he states, “My sweetheart lives here. This is my home. She is my home.”
Noah is the prototype of what women desire in a man.
I wish men would take notes while watching this movie. There is so much to be learned from Noah’s character. Every woman I know who has seen this movie notes that Noah at first seems rather plain in physical appearance but by the end of the movie, he’s like a Greek god!
Seriously, you just fall in love with how he loves Allie. So guys, take some notes.
1.) Men who are willing to makes fools of themselves to show how much they want to be with you. Ah, the power of the public grand gesture. It reminds us just how brave and courageous you are, willing to take risks and possible/likely rejection. (Think of the Ferris wheel scene when Noah jumps on to introduce himself to Allie and ask for a date.)
2.) Men who are persistent. Unless she is completely turned off by the sight of you from the initial meeting, she will warm up to your persistence. You can tell if an initial “no” really means “keep trying” if she is unable to hide some form of a smile or smirk. It shows us that you are not easily discouraged, that you are willing to work hard for what you want, that you are ambitious, and most importantly, that you really want us.
3.) Men who only have eyes for one woman. I know guys usually face rejection and move on to the next girl with ease, and a lot of guys can like several girls simultaneously. Girls don’t want to believe this, hence the appeal of Noah, who only has eyes for Allie. I guess the least you can do is make us feel like we are it. Don’t flaunt your other pursuits. Think the opposite of the message in the song Mambo # 9. It shows us that you are loyal, and that you see something in us that is different from all the other girls.
4.) Men who keep their promises regardless of circumstances. Noah said he would build the house with the blue shutters, the wrap around porch, and the painting room. He delivered. It shows us that you have integrity….which brings me to the next…
5.) Men who do the loving thing even when it hurts. Noah wrote Allie for a year without a response. Bravo. ’nuff said. This shows us that your hopes aren’t easily shattered, and even after it all, you are not bitter. Look at Noah’s last letter. Day 365:
My Dearest Allie, I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Noah
6.) Men who esteem themselves not because of worldly accomplishments but in the accomplishment of loving another deeply.
At the beginning of the movie, Noah says:
I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.
This shows us that loving others is your greatest priority. That kind of man is hard to find!
7.) Men who really listen. I mean, you can tell he really listened because he remembered her wishes. When she said what she wanted, he looked at her intently, as if he were making a note in his mind. Like Rick Warren says in The Purpose-driven Life, what we really want from people we love is “focused attention.” We want to look into your eyes, and see that all of you is really there, and there is no other place you would rather be. This shows us that we are up there on your mental priority list and that you value our thoughts.
8.) Men who would tell the truth, risk hurting our feelings, and fight with us rather than withdraw and brush issues under the rug to preserve peace. Like this scene:
Noah: Well, that’s what we do: we fight. You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a b**ch, and I tell you when you are a pain in the a**, which you are 99 percent of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2-second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-a** thing.
Allie: So what?
Noah: So it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.
It shows us that you care enough about saving the authenticity of the relationship to speak out. It shows that you are not indifferent. It shows that you are a man and not a doormat.
9.) Men who are realists. They believe that it will take work and that it will be hard. Love is work; it isn’t leisure. They don’t buy into an easy, pain-free “happily ever after.” It shows us that you are in it with earthly expectations and that you are not just in love with the high of being in love. It shows us that you are willing to work at love and that hard times will not make you hardened. And lastly…
10.) Men who want us till death do us part. Forever isn’t scary; commitment isn’t scary. We want to believe that it is natural to want forever, to want commitment because it’s with us. A couple of years ago, I asked a guy I dated what was the number one quality he wanted in a girl. He replied, “forever.” (Sigh.) I guess “forever” is a universal wish of those who truly seek love.